Total Drama All Stars
by Christlover357
Summary: After five seasons of drama and pain, Chris decides to host one final season of Total Drama. With twenty-eight of the most heroic and villainous contestants back for one last shot at the million, this finale season is going to be filled with tons of laughs, romance, and of course, drama. Read on as Total Drama All Stars plays out.


_Hello, fellow Total Drama fans! I'm here with another fanfiction of The Smurfs! LOL, I'm kidding. This is obviously a Total Drama story._

_Now, before we begin, a few things need to be stated._

_One, the title of this was what BowDownToQueenScarlett used for the first episode of his Heroes vs. Villains fanfic. It's cancelled so I felt it was okay to use it. I think it's clever and all credit for said cleverness goes to him. _

_Two, I own nothing and disclaim everything._

_Three, in this story, the canon TDAS, the blessed thing that it was, never happened. Everything that happened there is null and void. So for this story, Pahkiew Island came directly after Revenge of the Island. So this season is going to be considered the sixth season in-story. I do this because All-Stars was terrible and the problems are not very fixable. So I'm going to ignore it._

_So that's everything. On with the show! :D_

* * *

><p>The host of Total Drama, Chris McLean, and his assistant, Chef stood in front of a large stadium, ready to start the last season of their beloved, or at least for Chris, series.<p>

"Welcome viewing audience to Total Drama's sixth and final season!" Chris began as the camera turned on, "We are bringing back the most heroic, kind contestants and the most villainous, ruthless players to ever pop on our show for one last round. They're gonna be placed onto two teams and compete in challenges until only one is left standing. The winner will win Total Drama's greatest prize of one... million... dollars! I'm so excited!"

"I know what I'm excited for." Chef grumbled behind the host, "My paycheck!"

"Chef, no one wants to hear about your personal problems." the man rolled his eyes, "Anyways. This stadium is going to be our home base. Here friendships will form, rivalries will ignite, and teenagers will be hurt for my own personal amusement! Its gonna be the highlight of the season when someone gets mutated."

"Get some help Chris." Chef sighed as he walked into the stadium.

"I don't need help! I'm the personification of absolute perfection." the host with the most flashed a smile to the camera and then proceeded to walk over to the street and motioned towards the trail of boat pulling up to the front of the stadium, simultaneously destroying the streets, "Our first contestant is the ever-controversial goth girl, Gwen!"

As Gwen stepped off her boat, it was clear she was not in a good mood.

"Bite me." Were the two words that came out of her mouth before she went to stand off to the side.

"Whoa Gwen." Chris was a bit startled, and not at all pleased with her disrespect to him, "What's your problem. You pregnant or something?"

The loner death glared the host, "You know, when i said bite me. That also meant to shut up."

"Wow, that really hurts." Chris shed a single tear, "Forget you. Let's just move on to our next contestant. He's a weirdo going through a fad. Only this fad is all about being evil! Welcome back Max!"

"Time to evil!" Max maliciously rubbed his hands together, "This season will be mine! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The purple-haired boy put his hands behind his back and stood close to where Gwen was standing, "I hope you're ready to be enslaved under my evil rule, woman."

"Yeah. Of course." Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Contestant number three is my personal favorite out of all you kids." Chris now sported a rather creepy grin, "She may be really, really dumb, but she's smokin'! Salutations to Lindsay!"

"Chris, you shouldn't say things like that." Chef Hatchet popped his head out the stadium's door to warn his Chris, "It makes you sound like a child predator."

"Well, that's because he i-" Gwen's insult was cut off by a signature squeal.

"EEEEEEE!" Lindsay clapped as she exited the boat, "I'm so excited to be here! ... wait, what show am I on again?"

"Really?" Gwen chuckled in slight amusement.

"Next up, we have a suprising fan-favorite. I mean, why does everyone like him?" Chris did not understand, "It's the sarcastic bookworm, Noah!"

"I'm back for yet another season of Total Drama, Noah said as he stepped off his boat, "I could be head librarian at my school. But no. Instead I'm here competing on this stupid show because my contract forces me to."

"Now Noah knows what's up." Gwen acknowledged and actually smiled.

"The next guy returning has saved lives of people who weren't even his teammates." Chris introduced, "It's the man who lives super strict to his code, Brick."

"Brick MacArthur ready for deployment into Operation: Season six, sir." the cadet saluted.

"Are we in the army?" Lindsay gasped, "I don't want to shoot people!"

"Don't worry ma'am." Brick reassured, "It's just how I like to say things. We aren't going into any battles. Unless, of course, you count this show as a battle."

"It's a battle for my sanity." Noah shrugged, not even looking up from his book, "That much I do know."

"I can't wait to use my armies to take control of everything." Max manically rubbed his hands.

"Will you shut up about that!" Gwen barked in annoyance, "You aren't going to ever take over the world!"

"Le gasp!" Max, well, gasped, "Everyone attack this vampire-girl, she has uttered blasphemy!"

"Whoa bros, what's with all the tension?" the new arrival, Geoff, asked as he hopped off his boat, "Let's not fight already guys. Let's make this season one big party instead!"

"Ooo! Will there be punch at this party?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah baby!" Geoff fist pumped, "There will be punch!"

"EEEEE!" the dumb blonde clapped, "I love punch!"

"What are you losers so happy about?" asked a manipulative voice, which obviously belonged to Heather.

"Ugh. You." Gwen spat acid.

"Yeah, me." Heather blew her old rival a raspberry.

"Ahhh Heather." Chris sighed in delight, "My money-maker, ratings trap, and friend."

"Ew!" Heather was taken aback, "I am NOT friends with creepers."

"Hey, I'm not a creeper!" The host tried to defend himself.

"Um, you totally are." Izzy said as she practically slithered out of her boat, "This one time I saw you at an intervention for creepers! You were all like, 'Hi I'm Chris McLean and I have a problem with being a creeper' and then the audience was all like, 'Hi Chris McLean' and then we drank punch. It was so much fun."

All the contestants were laughing there posteriors off at this comment. But Chris was not amused in the slightest. Before he could say anything, though, Izzy went on.

"So what's gonna happen this season? Is they're gonna be a newbie who's a cannibal." Izzy laughed, "Oh yeah, that's right! Chris, Izzy wants to know where Chef is so she can give him a roundhouse kick to the face!"

"Just go stand over with the others." Chris ordered. When she went to do so, she stood by Noah, who happened to still be laughing at her comment.

"Izzy. That right there is why I think you're one of the better people in this world. Still insane on every level, but I am rather fond of you."

"Aw, thanks Noah-boa." Izzy cuddled his egghead.

"Ignoring that, our next contender was the antagonist of season four with a strategy that made absolutely no sense. He's only recently come out of his robot suit, its Scott everyone!"

A paler, thinner Scott stepped out of his boat, fists clenched as if he was ready for a fight.

"This is it Scotty-boy." he motivated himself, "Your redemption."

"You alright solider?" Brick asked him as he saw his physical state.

"Yeah, I'm fine." the ginger lied as he said something else under his breath, "As fine as I can be after a mauling."

"Poor Scott... not, ha ha... ugh, next up is the unfortunately popular singing sweetheart, Ella."

"Salutations everyone!" Ella greeted as birds flew her out of her boat, "_We are all back for another season, and we are here for but on reason. To win one million dollars, with which we will get to wear fancy collars!"_

"Yay. Singing." Noah sarcastically cheered, "Because I just love singing."

"I know, right?" Ella agreed, not getting the sarcasm, "Isn't singing just lovely."

"It really isn't." Heather filed her nails, "But morons are entitled to their opinions I guess."

"Hey Ella, you can take you're happy, sunshiny self and shove it over to Zoey." Chris multi-tasked as he was both snarking Ella and introducing Zoey, "She could use a few friends, right Zoey?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Zoey nervously rubbed her arm as she walked towards everyone.

"Why hello!" Ella hugged her, "I just know we'll be good friends."

"Aw, thanks." Zoey warmly smiled, but then she kind of flipped out, "Was that a rude kind of response? I'm sorry! Or is that I'm too white, because I can assure you I'm not racist! Or is it my flower. DO you not like it? I can change it to a rose or something!"

"No, I didn't think any of that." Ella comforted.

"My placing the title of loser still stands." Heather smirked.

"Wait." Lindsay was confused, "Wouldn't putting a rose in your hair hurt you? Cause of the thorn thingys?"

"Lindsay actually said something that wasn't completely stupid." Noah said, "Quick, someone call Ripley's."

"Actually, call Weight Watchers, cause Ow-OAH!" Chris stopped in his tracks. All of the other players were shocked as well. Owen was standing before them, looking a lot different. While still huge, he was no longer obese. The boy had seemingly lost weight.

"Hey guys! What's up?" Owen laughed, not understanding why everyone was looking at him all shocked-like. But he did get it eventually, "Oh yeah! I've decided to lose weight. I was so fat that my doctor said I could have a heart attack! So I set a goal to become skinny, and I am reaching it! WHOO HOO!"

"That is totally awesome bro!" Geoff gave his thumbs up.

"Color me impressed." Noah nodded, happy for Owen, "I guess I'll have to find you a new nickname."

"Right?!" Owen laughed, "Chubby buddy may not fit my new physique."

Stop with the laughter!" Chris shouted, "We have more contestants to introduce. Like the murderous brainiac, Scarlett!"

"Hello everyone."Scarlett said coldly as she walked over to the others, "Before you ask, no I am not planning on terminating you imbeciles. I just somewhat snapped last time."

"Traitor!" Max called her out, "Don't expect me to ever allow you to be my sidekick ever again! You have sealed your fate as becoming one of my prisoners once I take over the world using the powers of evil."

"Not if I disembowel you first." Scarlett said under her breath.

"What as that?"

"Nothing." Scarlett said calmly.

"The next contender is one of the our shows best players." Chris said, "It's bad-boy Duncan!"

"Bring on the pain, Chris." Duncan smiled arrogantly as he stepped into the game, "I'm ready for it."

"We'll see about that." the host chuckled at the comment, "Anywho, how are things with you and Gwen?"

"Why the heck do you care?" Duncan asked, "Besides, didn't you hear? We broke up in-between seasons."

A collective gasp went through the crowd.

"Really bros?" Geoff was rather surprised, "I'm kind've shocked."

"Well, I just didn't feel comfortable having a boyfriend." Gwen explained, "Not after what happened in World Tour. Plus, he feels like my brother or something. It doesn't feel right."

"Now that I also agreed with." Duncan nodded, "But I'm cool with the break-up, because now I can just be a bachelor! I'm tired of ladies holding me back from doing what I want, when i want."

"Ugh, you clearly haven't changed." Courtney sneered as she approached him, "I bet you cheated on Gwen, didn't you?"

"Whiny CIT, Courtney everyone." Chris announced.

"Actually." Gwen responded, "He didn't cheat on me. We broke up on mutual terms."

"I did not ask you, boyfriend stealer!" Courtney fired back.

"Geez, get your panties out of a twist, princess." Duncan scoffed.

"Don't call me that." the Type-A demanded, "I don't want either of you speaking to me this whole season, got it?!"

"Hear you loud and clear." Gwen looked and sounded a mixture of disgusted and hurt, "To think I wanted to try to make things right with you."

"Shut up." Courtney growled, storming off next to Brick. When she sat down, she buried her face in her hands and groaned sadly, "Oh..."

"Wishing you could have handled that better?" Brick asked sympathetically as he place his hand on her shoulder.

"What? Yes. No!" she shoved his hand away, "Get out of here!"

Back up front, Chris announced the next contestant, "Welcome back the luscious sister, Leshawna!"

"Mmmm. This girl has got this game in the bag." Leshawna pointed to herself, "What is up my brothers and sisters?!"

"Evil is hat's up!" Max said.

"The sky." Noah deadpanned, still not looking up from his book.

"And aliens!" Izzy cackled.

"Well." Leshawna sighed, "This is gonna be one long and weird season."

"You can say that again." Gwen agreed.

"Things are about to get even weirder as this contestant is afraid of zombies and actively prepares against them. It's Shawn!"

"Are there any zombies out there?" Shawn asked from inside his boat, hiding, "The latest reports show the zombie apocalypse is getting closer and closer."

"There's no zombies." Duncan rolled his eyes, "Loser."

"Ah, good." the prepper stepped out of his boat only to have a red ball of fury start chasing him.

"I'm a zombie! HAHAHAHA!" Izzy began to run at him, sharp teeth drawn. Her victim sprang into action.

"You aren't gonna get me, you shuffler!" he declared, pulling out a gun, "I've been practicing this for a long time."

"Whoa dude!" Noah dropped his book and ran over to him, "Don't shoot Izzy!"

"Yeah man!" Owen came too, "Are you crazy?!"

"Don't get all sentimental about it guys!" Shawn pleaded, "You got to do what you got to do!"

"Shawn!" a voice called out, "Why on earth do you have a gun out?!"

"Jasmine?" Shawn turned to his girlfriend that was standing next to him. He didn't see Izzy coming as she tackled him, "Nooo!"

"Hahahahah!" Izzy cracked up and got off him, "That was fun. We should totally do that again some time."

"Well that was a close call." Owen wiped the sweat off his brow.

"So?" Jasmine confronted Shawn, "Why are you acting more wily than a drunk kangaroo?"

"I... I thought she was a zombie." Shawn explained.

"Well, she was acting funny, that's for sure." Jasmine acknowledged, "But regardless, you can't be pulling guns out on people, that's dangerous!"

"...Yo-You're right." Shawn was still shaken up, "Sorry, um, what was your name?"

"Huh?" Izzy looked towards him as she swallowed the gun he stole from him.

"Say hello to Australian Outback Survivalist Jasmine!" Chris said, "You ready for the season?"

"I guess so." the girl shrugged, "I can certainly tell already this is definitely going to be an adventure."

"It certainly will be." Chris chuckled darkly, "Next up we have the teddy bear, DJ!"

"Yo, everybody?" DJ waved towards his friends, "What's up with you guys?"

"Nothing much, buddy." Geoff smiled.

"Oh DJ..." Chris pulled him aside, "Be sure to say hi to Chef when you see him. He's VERY excited to see you."

"Wait, what?" DJ was a bit frightened by this information, "Why would he be excited to see me?"

"Oh you'll find out." Chris laughed as the confused boy nervously walked off, "Our next teen coming into the contest is bubble boy, Cameron."

"I'm not a bubble boy anymore." Cameron declared as he confidently stepped out of his boat, "I am a bubble man! I can't wait for this season and all it will have to offer."

"Now that's the spirit, mate!" Jasmine encouraged the good attitude.

"You're still as adorable as ever." Zoey giggled.

"Poor newbies." Leshawna shook her head, "They don't fully realize how messed up this game it and what it could do to you."

"I give 'em a week before they all crack." Gwen said.

"I'll give them twenty minutes." Noah added.

"Another 'Revenge' contestant, it's the boy who suffers from multiple personality disorder, Mike!"

"Multiple Personality Disorder?" Scarlett was rather irked, "It's supposed to be called Dissociative Personality Disorder."

"Heh, I know." Mike acknowledged, "I just like the ring of the other name, you know?"

"Sure." Scarlett sighed in disappointment at the simplification of the name.

"Oh Mike, it's so good to see you." Zoey hugged him.

"It's so good to see you-GASP!" Mike transformed into Chester, "Aw dang flabbit Mike. Didn't you know the flower in her hair means she's some sort of freaky hippy? Come on-GASP-...uh, sorry. You know how things are."

"Yeah I know." Zoey nodded, "And we'll work on those things together."

"Awww..." Lindsay cooed, "They are so cute."

"Cute?" Heather was disgusted, "They're boring."

"Heather's right." Chris nodded, "They are far too boring to hog up camera time. So here's someone that's not boring and is bound to cause drama, Sugar, the pageant queen!"

"Hey, ya'll" Sugar snorted as she got off her boat, "Just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to win, so you may as well quit now."

"As if." Heather laughed at the absurdity of Sugar actually winning.

"Sugar!" Ella greeted, much to her 'friends' disdain, "How is my BFF doing?"

"We are NOT BFF's and never will be!" Sugar shoved Ella to the ground, "Will you take a darn hint?"

"Hey now." DJ scolded as he picked a hurt Ella up, "Take it easy."

"Shut your trap!" Sugar commanded, "Dang it, she got him under her spell too. I wish the wizard were hear to help me break it."

"You okay?" DJ asked the singing sweetheart.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ella whimpered, "Maybe Sugar is just in a bad mood."

"I love pain and suffering when it's happening to good and innocent people." Chris admitted, "Anyways. Here's our cool guitarist, Trent!"

"Hey everyone." Trent greeted as he stepped onto the ground, guitar case in hand, "It's great to finally be back."

"Sorry we couldn't get you here ninth Trent." Chris apologized, "I know you would've liked that."

"What?" Trent fumed and stormed away from the grinning host, "I am NOT obsessed with nine! It was just a quirk."

"I love it when they get all annoyed." Chris chuckled to himself, "Next up we have bossy bruiser Jo!"

Jo got out of her boat with her arms cross and a big scowl on her face.

"I hope you guys know that none of you stand a ch-"

"Yeah, yeah." Chris waved off Jo's statement, " We already got the same talk from Sugar. Go stand with the others."

"Hey!" the tomboy shouted in retaliation, " Don't interrupt me!

"No one cared what you had to say anyways." Heather informed.

"Shut your mouth." Jo shot back, "Old Heather."

"Right back at you, new Eva."

"Fight! Fight!" Sugar chanted.

"Fight all you want, but first let me at least introduce our next player." Chris said, "And this guy is a player of hearts and emotions. It's Alejandro."

"Your introduction was not accurate." Alejandro smiled, "For after much contemplating while stuck in the robot suit, I have decided to turn over a new leaf."

"Are you serious?" Leshawna asked, "Hon, what makes you think we'll believe you?"

"Yeah, what kind of morons do you take us for?"

"If this is some kind of new strategy, it sucks." Heather said bluntly.

"Well he is still hotter than a grease pig." Sugar swooned.

"His beauty is a trap!" Courtney warned.

"He's a bad one I tell ya." Mike, as Chester, declared.

Well, I expected you all to react that way." Alejandro sighed, "Looks like I'll have to redeem myself the hard way."

"Join the club." Scott sneered.

"Villains reforming?" Chris was disgusted, "Yuck! They're my way to get great ratings! Ratings don't come from people like Bridgette."

He said this because Bridgette had just come out of her boat, surfboard under arm.

"Gee thanks, Chris." Bridgette said sarcastically, "And I thought you said this season was going to be on a beach. That's the whole reason I brought my board!"

"Oops. I lied." Chris laughed at her misfortune.

"Sucks to be you, blondie." Duncan chuckled.

"Whatever." Bridgette looked very irritated, "I don't even know why I'm here. I've personally had enough drama on this show to last me a lifetime!"

"Oh babe." Geoff rushed up to his girlfriend and pulled her in for a hug, "It's gonna be okay Bridge. This season will be great!"

"But what if it isn't great?" Bridgette worried, "What if this is the season that ends our relationship? I don't want to lose you."

"Oh Bridgey-bear. Don't worry about a thing." Geoff looked into her eyes, "Everything's gonna be alright."

"I hope so Geoff." she hugged him tightly, "I love you."

Once their hug broke, Gwen and Leshawna came to comfort their good friend.

"You done good dude." DJ fist-bumped his buddy.

"Our next contestant is another who has not competed since season one. But she's back anyways and she's ready to dominate the season. It's the widely feared Eva!" Chris was so very delighted to crush her dreams, but was ironically allowing Eva onto the season, granting her dreams. The tough girl was listening to her iPod as she walked up to the group, not saying a word. She didn't need to. Her glare she was giving everyone as if to warn them was saying all she needed to. But, at least one person was very happy to see her.

"Eva! Is it really you?" Jo ran up to her in excitement, "Dude, I'm your biggest fan! You're the only tough girl on this show and I have a ton of respect for you. You got any tips on, um, toughness?"

Eva was a little startled at the fangirling, and had to think of an answer. But she did eventually find the right words, "Okay, here's one really big tip. You know what you just did?"

"Yeah..."

"Don't do it again. Ever. Or I'll make you look like her." Eva pointed at Heather.

"Hey!" the strategist took offence to that.

"Got it?!" Eva raised her fist in Jo's face. Normally the tomboy would start swinging, but this was Eva, who was practically her remodel.

"Yes, ma'am." Jo nodded, still a little too thrilled.

"That little display made my day." Cameron laughed out loud, not afraid of what she might do to him in retaliation.

"Oh shut up, pencil neck." Jo grumbled.

"Our last contestant lost season four and cried about, or so it was reported." Chris laughed at the embarrassing story, "You have probably already guessed who it is by now, it's Lightning!"

"Sha-bam!" Lightning flipped out of his boat, "I'm the sha-first one here!"

"Um, what?" Noah's eyes widened at the stupidity, "You're obviously not the first person here. I mean, are you that stupid?"

"I ain't stupid." the jock denied, "I'm sha-Lightning and I know I was here first because Lighting is always first in whatever he does!"

"Except when you competed last season." Jo said quickly under her breath.

"And with that, all twenty-eight of you have arrived." Chris clasped his hands together and stood in front of the cast, "Let's get down to business-"

"_To defeat, the huns._" Ella began singing, "Hee, sorry. Force of habit."

"I'll show you force of habit." Sugar growled.

"Quiet! You think you kids are the reason people watch this show? Ha! No, the reason people watch is for me." the host flashed another smile at the camera

"I doubt anyone would want to watch you for twenty-two minutes." Leshawna scoffed, "Do you realize everyone has better things to do?"

"Gosh you kids are mean." Chris looked genuinely hurt, "Before you guys tear me down some more, lemme at least explain the rules."

"I don't follow rules." Duncan said, 'Rules suck."

"Besides." Scarlett stated, "We've all been on this program before, some of us multiple times. Your mind is so lacking in proper thought controls to make anything completely different from what we already understand about this competition. I mean, come now, give us a little credit. Or at least just give some to me."

"No one likes your big words, Scarlett." Chris stated, "First order of business is the good ol' confessional. See that booth behind you guys?" the crowd of teens parted to see the white little room, "Yeah, that's the confessional this time. Feel free to use it when you'd like."

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Leshawna: Hallelujah! The confessional ain't the potty this time.

Noah: I am so pumped for this season. I mean I can't wait to meet new people and the challenges are gonna be a good work out. Yeah, this season is going to be an experience. By the way, I thought I'd wish our lovely viewers a happy Opposite Day.

Duncan: New season, new location, new places to vandalize. /pulls out a knife./

Jasmine: Wowee, this season is already looking to be mighty... interesting I guess I'll put it. I'm a little worried about Shawn though, he seems he got even more obsessive than last time.

Shawn: I really wanted to make that me and Jasmine are completely safe this season. Thus, I packed everything. Extra food, extra water, hard hats, brass knuckles, blankets, medication, toilet paper, seeds, paper, shovels, replacement hats for the both of us, and even a grenade! Yup. We'll definitely be safe from any zombies.

Zoey: Last season I came to make friends, but in retrospect i did a really crappy job at getting them. I am determined to not make that same mistake this year.

Mike: Yeah, my personalities is starting to get out of control. But I-GASP-SLEVLANTA IS BEAUTIFUL! /jumps through the roof./

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"Now that you know where that is, we can enter the stadium. Our new and fantastic place for this season." Chris said, "Now come follow me inside."<p>

"And so the adventure begins." Jasmine whispered as they went inside.

* * *

><p>"Whoa." Cameron awed in wonder. The teens had entered the massive stadium. And the whole thing looked impressive. In front of them were a cabin, and what seemed to be a small mansion and a sad, shack-like house next to it. The the left there was a kitchen, buffet area, and tables. And then to the right there were the bathrooms and showers and such. The funny thing is, what they saw didn't even take up half the space. It seemed that two-thirds of the area was totally blocked by a giant metal wall.<p>

"This actually looks pretty nice." Gwen said surprised.

"Yeah, who would have thought Chris had a heart to the location be somewhere decent." Scott chuckled.

"Everyone has a heart." Ella smiled, "But for some it merely takes a while to find it."

"Your delus- positivity is admirable Ella." Scarlett put her hand on her shoulder, "But I would be very willing to bet an extraneous sum of currency to test the fact that Chris's heart could not be found even if they put into use the Hubble Telescope itself."

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Ella: Why does everyone seems so negative? This show is in need of a spark of joy! And that is something I'll be quite happy to give.

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"I do have a heart." Chris admitted, "I just don't feel like using it. Anyways, welcome to Hatchet Stadium. I was going to name it after myself but..."<p>

"No one cares." Jo grunted.

"Fine. Whatever." Chris narrowed his eyes, "To the left you'll see where you'll be eating Chef's wonderful meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"Don't worry guys." DJ tried to assure the groaning kids, "Maybe he'll let me cook in there and I'll make some good food."

"Dude, we both know that's never going to happen." Duncan said.

"Well I could always do it in secret." DJ whispered to his pal.

"Oh DJ..." Chris chuckled, knowing information he did not, "On your left you'll see the restrooms, where you'll do all your rest-roomy things."

"Would setting the restroom on fire count as one of those things?" Izzy hoped.

"Nope. Unless you want to pay for it." the host informed, "Now you're quarters this season will vary."

"What does that mean?" Trent asked.

"As you can see, we have a sad little house sitting there. That's where the losers go. But the winners get to stay in the McLean Brand Spa-Hotel! It's air-conditioned, and furnished with hot tubs and butlers of all creeds!"

A wild cheer went out throughout the teens.

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Bridgette: I can't believe Chris is even giving us something like that. I assumed that building was just going to be for himself.

Cameron: Hot tubs? I've never been in a hot tub before!

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"One thing you're probably wondering about is the giant wall blocking off much of the stadium."<p>

"I would make a snarky response about how I don't really care, but I am actually curious." Noah admitted.

"Well good. I was going to explain it anyways regardless of what you thought." Chris said, "So, behind this wall is where today's and everyday's challenge is going to take place. The setting of the challenge will be changed everyday, so a lot of construction will be going on every night, so we put this sound-proof wall there so you can actually sleep."

"You actually are legitimately concerned about our sleep?" Alejandro was surprised, "I mean, Que!?

"You really do care!" Ella 'awwed'.

"Ha! No, I don't. I just don't want you guys all tired for the challenges. Bad for ratings." Chris flashed a quick smile to the camera, "Now that we've gotten that all out-of-the-way, it's time to pick teams. And since its our final season, the theme we are rolling with is Heroes vs Villains!"

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Heather: Obviously I'll be on the Villains team. And I will also be running it by lunch.

Brick: Heroes and Villains? That sounds very good, indeed!

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"Alright, when I call your name, come to my left... Heather...<p>

Alejandro...

Courtney...

Scott...

Sugar...

Duncan...

Scarlett...

Max...

Jo...

Lightning...

"Sha-Lightning!" the jock cheered out the sound of his name.

"Eva...

Noah...

Izzy...

... and Gwen! You guy will now be branded as the Villainous Vultures!" Chris finished.

"It is good to know you have finally acknowledged, that I, Max Leroy, is truly a villain." Max grinned in satisfaction.

"This team is going to be freaking strong!" Jo put her arm around Eva, "With Eva and I alone-"

"Don't touch me."

"Oops, sorry." Jo nervously pulled her arm away, what I was saying is that we will be an unstoppable force! The heroes are going down!"

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Gwen: I thought about caring that I was on the villains team, but honestly? I am so sick of this stupid show that I could not care less what it brands me as. No one's gonna remember me in five years, anyway. So...

Sugar: I don't think our team is all that great without a wizard. Oh, how I miss him... /gets to thinking, and then a light bulb goes off inside her brain./ I know! I'll train myself to be a wizard! Then I can turn Ella into a frog!

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"Now the rest of you, Brick...<p>

Jasmine...

Owen...

Zoey...

Shawn...

Lindsay...

Cameron...

Ella...

DJ...

Leshawna...

Mike...

Bridgette...

Trent...

...and Geoff, are the Heroic Hamsters!"

"This is awesome!" Owen cheered.

"It certainly is an honor to be called a hero." Brick saluted.

"How is a hamster heroic?" Courtney was somewhat dumbfounded by the name.

"It was either that.", the host shrugged, "Or the heroic Hippos."

"That would fit." Duncan laughed, "Leshawna is on the team after all."

"What did you just say!?" Leshawna rolled up her sleeves, "Boy I will mess you up so bad."

"But that isn't a very heroic thing to do." Ella said, concerned. Then a bullhorn went off.

"I love this thing." Chris beamed at the canister, "I don't think I'll ever stop using this."

* * *

><p><strong>CONFESSIONAL<strong>

Eva: Oh, I can get you to stop using it. Just so you know.

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

><p>"So now that the teams are set and done, its challenge time!" Chris announced, "Or a least it will be after commercial beak. Sorry Trent, but we couldn't go to commercial at nine minutes like I know you wanted."<p>

"I am NOT obsessed with number nine!" Trent raged in frustration, "You had better not be making some sort of running gag out of this.

"Hee hee." Chris chuckled as he turned to the camera, "Will Trent ever realize that he is a nine-obsessed lunatic? Will Courtney ever forgive Gwen and Duncan? Will DJ find out what I know that he doesn't? And how will the challenge be. It will be painful and dangerous I can tell you that much. Find out how painful when we come back to Total... Drama... All-Stars!"

* * *

><p><em>HEROIC HAMSTERS: Brick, Jasmine, Owen, Zoey, Shawn, Lindsay, Cameron, Ella, DJ, Leshawna, Mike, Bridgette, Trent, and Geoff.<em>

_VILLAINOUS VULTURES: Heather, Alejandro, Courtney, Scott, Sugar, Duncan, Scarlett, Max, Jo, Lightning, Eva, Noah, Izzy, and Gwen._

_I hope you all enjoyed! I look forward to your reviews and comments. God bless you and have a great rest of the day! :)_


End file.
